Man Handling

A successful businessman, he had been supporting her financially and even helped her open a beauty salon. Now she was worried that he might be interested in someone else and wanted to save the relationship.　

She then thought of an influencer she followed, Sister Mu. Mu had appeared Aon a relationship-focused reality show for Tianjin TV in 2025, where she offered advice to troubled couples.　

In her online clips, Mu talks about relationship fixes, as well as tips on finding what she calls a "high-value" man. One of her courses explains the process in 11 videos.　

Wang first reached out over social media in early 2026. She was invited into a WeChat group, where she was told Mu no longer takes on individual cases. Instead, they offered to pair Wang with a coach suited to her needs.　

Though disappointed, Wang handed over 100 yuan (US$15) for an initial consultation. The first thing the coach asked for was Wang's chat history with her boyfriend.　

Relationship coaching marketed to women like Wang on social media is creating multi-million-yuan fortunes. The market ranges from livestream sessions costing more than 1,000 yuan (US$148) to intensive one-on-one packages or offline training running tens of thousands of yuan.　

Some coaches specifically target women seeking to "marry up," teaching them how to attract desirable men through appearance, feminine charm and sexual appeal. Others advise women already in relationships on how to increase their influence and leverage, especially when it comes to money. Often, the men at the center of these consultations have no idea they are taking place.　

Though more than a decade old, the industry is facing increasing scrutiny from the public, experts and authorities. Some of its most prominent figures have faced social media bans following new regulations. Released last year, they require platforms to remove content from unqualified counselors that "spreads misguided ideas" about sexual health, especially posts containing sexually suggestive or veiled messages.　

But the bans did not eliminate demand. Some influencers took their businesses into private WeChat groups and offline, while less prominent coaches like Mu have moved in to fill the gap.

When Wang complained that her boyfriend was ignoring her emotional needs, the coach told her to stop "begging for hugs and comfort."　

"He invested in your shops, which means he wants a long-term relationship with you," the coach said. "Since he's a businessman, date like a businesswoman rather than a college girl. Don't dump your negative emotions and anxiety on him."　

The coach suggested that Wang post photos of herself meeting business partners and expanding her network. "You need to let him know you are making progress and can make money, not just that you are a spendthrift," she said, adding that Wang should not focus exclusively on one man.　

When NewsChina followed up with Wang in August, she declined to comment on whether the advice had worked for her. But their sessions offer a glimpse into these coaches' main selling point - when an intimate relationship becomes rocky, it can be managed through strategies and actionable advice, putting the outcome within a woman's control.

The former singer turned relationship advisor portrays dating, marriage and even childbirth as mere tools for climbing the social ladder. An oftrepeated mantra in her courses is "the nature of relationships is exchanging value."　

Lin Xiaozhe, a former member of Le's community, told NewsChina that her courses focus on how to take the lead in a relationship, develop it more quickly and determine whether a man is worth pursuing.　

Le earns mainly through livestreams, courses and her online community, which has generated more than 100 million yuan (US$14.8m), with top-tier members paying nearly 200,000 yuan (US$29,540) to join, according to news outlet chengdu.cn.　

She was banned from major online platforms like Sina Weibo in December 2023 for promoting what was described as "unhealthy relationship values." In April 2025, Le was penalized 7.58 million yuan (US$1.12m) for tax evasion, according to Shanghai tax authorities.　

However, her business continues through more private channels. Le now runs exclusive WeChat groups and her own monthly subscription app for 199 yuan (US$30).　

Zhou Yuan takes a more overtly sexual approach. Now in her 40s, Zhou used to work in a bank and operated a beauty clinic before becoming China's most controversial relationship coach.　

During a three-day training session held by her "Sexual Intelligence Academy" in April, NewsChina learned that Zhou taught participants how to become an "enchanting Siren," including detailed instruction on clothing choices, makeup, how to walk and flirtatious touching, even encouraging her students to touch her and one another on the breasts, hips and waist to demonstrate.　

Her courses are marketed as ways to "save marriages."　

Representatives of the Academy told news platform Blue Whale Finance it had attracted more than 100,000 learners since it was established in 2018, raking in more than 24 million yuan (US$3.6m) in revenue based on listed prices and enrollment figures.　

In January, Zhou's operations were the center of an investigation by market supervision authorities in Changsha, Hunan Province. Like Le, Zhou was banned from social media platforms for "spreading vulgar and suggestive content," which included teaching how to seduce men through body language. Her most viral technique is the "Xshaped" posture, where a woman faces her torso in one direction, turns her head the opposite way, and speaks in a sultry tone.　

But Zhou managed to direct followers to offline courses held in inconspicuous locations.　

Many relationship coaches develop videos and livestreams into channels to promote product lines, from books and cosmetics to sex toys. Some offer access to chat groups of "high-value men" or hold online matchmaking events.　

Wang Xin, an associate professor at Shandong University who has studied relationship influencers, said the industry has evolved significantly over the past decade.　

"Ayawawa, a relationship coach who was popular 10 years ago, focused on keeping a man, which was more defensive and less aggressive," Wang said. "Ququ, however, emphasizes upward mobility, ‘securing the target' and ‘cashing in.' Zhou Yuan adopts a more self-focused and performative persona, subtly packaging her aggressiveness in a gentler form."　

"But they are no different in nature," Wang said. "Their strategies are becoming increasingly packaged and easier to implement."

Chen Feifei, who attended Zhou Yuan's offline course twice, told NewsChina she joined to feel better about her "stagnant" marriage. Meeting her husband on a blind date, Chen said the two had never developed a deep connection and had drifted apart emotionally.　

She said the three-day course, which taught relationship skills while providing moral support, better equipped her to work on her marriage.　

Most of Zhou's offline students are married women in their 30s and 40s. Xue Jing, an expert on mass culture at Tsinghua University, describes many of them as "knowing fools."　

"They don't believe the courses can bring back happiness," Xue said. "Instead, they want to make themselves tolerate the marriage and keep their lives on track."　

That desire for something practical may be part of the appeal. Li Songwei, a counselor with a PhD in psychology from Peking University, noted that in the era of social media, people increasingly believe that all problems have a hack or shortcut.　

"Online paid knowledge products are, by nature, an attempt to address people's feelings of losing control over their lives, whether in career planning or raising high-achieving children. They at least cater to people's expectations that problems can be solved. It is the same with intimate relationship courses," Li said.　

Li said people increasingly treat intimate relationships as mathematical problems rather than allowing themselves to experience the uncertainty of intimacy.　

"The idea that it's better to find a rich husband than to build a career is not new," Li said. "What has changed in recent years is that marrying up is increasingly presented as something achievable through training and a series of strategies."　

"Compared with more time-consuming and effort-intensive approaches such as counseling, skill-based learning tends to promise faster results, which is precisely why it has gained traction among women eager to improve their romantic relationships," said Wang Zhoulan, a therapist based in Chengdu, Sichuan Province.

But the strategies being sold to women have changed. A decade ago, relationship courses often taught women to endure difficulties and make concessions to preserve their marriages. Today, many teach women how to manage their relationship and gain more sway in it.　

Though seemingly opposites, Wang Xin believes both approaches share the same underlying logic. "They are based on the assumption that only when men are satisfied can women gain a sense of security," she said. "The difference lies only in the strategies used to achieve that goal."

　

The newer approach can sound more empowering. Some influencers present their methods as a way for women to become more confident, independent and capable of controlling their own lives. "This sounds encouraging to women trapped in difficult situations and can easily elevate their emotions," Wang Xin said.　

But critics question where that empowerment ultimately leads. Therapist Wang Zhoulan told Jiemian News in February that Zhou Yuan's courses "teach women how to achieve self-improvement through appearance, but their ultimate goal remains pleasing men, making self-improvement merely a tool to reach that goal."　

Xue Jing agreed that women taught to use sexual appeal to manipulate men may only gain a false sense of control. "Their sense of worth is built on whether their value is recognized by their male partners," she said.　

Li said he did not want to judge such practices on a moral level, but he questioned whether it was realistic to expect formulas and strategies to provide control over life.　

"They may only create an illusion of control," he said.　

Wang Xin believes they reflect women's anxiety surrounding intimate relationships and deeper structural problems in society.　

She said that women in China today continue to bear certain costs of social development, including the burdens of childbirth, unequal treatment in the workplace and disparities in property rights. For a considerable number of women, marriage remains closely tied to their lives, particularly their economic circumstances.　

"It is inappropriate to morally judge these learners with contempt," Xue added. "Instead, we should understand the fears behind their choices. Only then can we find common ground and help people rediscover genuine love and respect."