any moons ago, when my hairline was as solid as my roundhouse kick, I began training in Jeet Kune Do. In truth, I was only mildly interested in learning the “Way of the Intercepting Fist” as popularized by Bruce Lee, but my mom was all in – she believed every young lad should know how to defend himself, and it’s a principle I have come to agree with and respect as I have gotten older in life.
After years of practice, I wouldn’t quite call my hands “deadly weapons” but I certainly felt more confident knowing how to handle myself. And the journey has also packed a punch in many other ways. Jeet Kune Do taught me the subtle art of discipline, and the Chinese concept of gong fu – not just fancy moves, but the idea of honing any craft with perseverance over time. It was also where I made lifelong friends, most of whom I am still in touch with to this very day. As a result of this, I also became fascinated by Chinese culture, a curiosity that snowballed and eventually led me to learn Chinese. Looking back, I might even argue that my mum’s encouragement all those years ago is why almost-40-yearold me is now sitting in Beijing writing this article.
Recently, as my own daughter reached age 5, my mom floated the idea of starting her in self-defense classes. My wife, clearly partial to the “teach a girl to punch and she’ll knock out problems for life” philosophy, wholeheartedly agreed. So, our fingers started moving as fast as lightning as we scoured through Dianping, our go-to app for finding fun things to do in China, in search of a local class. We discovered a true smorgasbord of martial arts: from Taekwondo to Brazilian Jiu-jitsu to kung fu classes. It was like reading the menu of an all-you-can-break buffet.
After some gentle grappling with our options, we decided to enrol her in Aikido. It seemed welcoming to kids, and the staff had a really relaxed vibe to them. For a few weeks, classes were a blend of self-defense drills, exercise and enough rolling to rival a sushi bar.
But as the weeks passed, escorting her to class became more battle than ballet. The warrior princess did not spend her evenings dreaming of becoming the next Kung Fu Panda. One day she looked up at me and asked if she could fly-kick her way out of self-defense and glide into the world of ice-skating.
The difference in her enthusiasm was stark. Sword-hand blocks and ukemi rolls were instantly replaced with dizzying spins and gleeful glides on the ice. I quickly learned a critical lesson in parenting: you can try to gently nudge your child toward the warrior’s path, but sometimes they’d rather be Elsa than Bruce Lee.
We were ready to chalk this up as a failed experiment, except for one snag. In China, extracurricular schools often package classes by the dozen, so we were now sitting on a mountain of non-refundable sessions. On explaining our predicament to the Aikido teacher, we found a fun new avenue that would benefit the whole family. They also had adult classes and my wife and I decided to give them a go. Saturday nights turned into couple’s dojo dates, our daughter kept busy with arts and crafts on the sidelines.
It was right around then that my daughter, to our surprise, discovered her own enthusiasm for martial arts and insisted on joining us in the classes. The teacher allowed her to join the adult classes, transforming herself from spectator to pint-sized practitioner. Bringing a 5-year-old into adult classes isn’t exactly easy, but everyone else seemed to enjoy the energy she brought. I suspect many of them are parents too and understand how hard it can be to find a sitter on short notice.
She’s found her stride, and we’ve found a new family fun activity to get us out the flat on the weekends. Meanwhile I’m rekindling my own love affair with martial arts. I catch myself eyeing the judo and Brazilian jiu-jitsu classes, and feeling a bit spoilt for choice. Turns out the warrior spirit never truly retires, sometimes it just takes a well-timed parental jolt and a non-refundable bundle of lessons to get your foot back in the ring. It would seem that the fists of fury is now a family affair.
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